With the season being officially over and the Bolts being crowned champs, it’s time to turn our eyes on the offseason, one of which we have NO CLUE how long will last, or when it’ll end, and all the other logistics that go into getting next season started. BUT, here’s what we do know – there will still be trades, there will still be a draft, there will still be free agent signings, and while the big July 1st, which is usually mayhem in the hockey world, has already come in gone, the mayhem itself hasn’t. Trades can go through as of a few weeks back, and free agency officially starts October 9th.


I don’t see the Caps making any type of major splash – but we do know that a few key questions need to be answered. We gonna ride Vitek/Copley, or go out and sign a vet goalie to split the time with Sammy Saves? We gonna do anything about this lackluster defense of ours? DO WE ACTUALLY MAKE A SPLASH AND TRADE A PIECE AWAY?! So – I asked the following question across our social media channels, and welcomed both realistic and completely absurd takes from our fans and followers:

We’ve all thought about it, the impossible and also the probable. Doing the math in your brain like “so if we do this this and this, move this guy, and figure this out, we can totally get Alex Pietrangelo!!” or if you’re boring, you’ve been sitting around thinking about how we can sign Brian Elliot for X amount of $, bring up so and so from Hershey, and blah blah blahhhhhhhhhhhh. I’m a big name guy – I always want the Caps to make a splash, and now that we’re super important journalist with clout, I might just fuck around and start spreading some rumors every deadline szn… maybe, maybe not, but I love to watch the world (Caps Twitter) burn. I tagged in @statguyblake on this one to help out with the numbers and stuff to show you guys how any of these could seemingly be realistic.

Take 1Jack Eichel

New guy Ben with a moon shot. Like honestly this guy has been with us for 2? maybe 3 weeks? Absolutely insane take and ya know what, THAT’S WHAT I’M HERE FOR. Exactly why we brought him on board, as I continue to create an absolute wagon of a content team. The Jack Eichel rumors have been swirling for as of the past week when news broke that the Rangers may or may not have reached out to Buffalo about Jack’s availability, but the Sabres and Eichel’s camp have denied any interest of wanting to leave. I literally googled “Eichel Rumors” and two of the first articles I saw were “Kakko and 1st pick for Eichel” and “How the Bruins could get Eichel” lmao literally two of the most unrealistic possibilities ever but as soon as everyone even sniffed that beautiful trade rumor, everyone got a lil turned on and started crunching numbers. Does Eichel actually leave Buffalo? Who knows, but my guess is absolutely fuckin’ not. Now, like myself, you’re probably scratching your head like “lol those stupid teams where he would never go.. trying to figure out a way.. wha- … wait can the Caps do this?” Remember when I said wagon of a content team? Stat Guy Blake from the clouds:

Verdict – new guy Ben was probably 7 beers deep when he fired that tweet off, but Stat Guy Blake got me tweeting at GMBM from my burner rippin’ him for not making a call to Buffalo. Insane take, but that’s why I threw in there for the first one of the blog to get you goin’ early.

Take 2 – Byfuglien, Pietrangelo, or Martinez? + Keeping Dillon

There’s a lot to unpack with this one, so shoutout to @mhazard90 on Insta for this one. I’ll take this one step at a time here, and we’ll start with Byfuglien. So this one was a wild ride, as it started last offseason, where he was injured? or something like that, and he says training camp? Nah man, i’m not showing up… and then he got suspended. Personal reasons led to a leave of absence, granted of course. “In a joint statement released by the NHL and the NHL Players’ Association, the Jets and Byfuglien announced the sides have agreed to a mutual contract termination, bringing an end to a strained relationship between the team and a former face of the franchise.” Yeahhh, everyone got pumped about this one too. I mean why wouldn’t you? He’s a beast on the blue line, big, physical, will fuck you up and rip a clap bomb top right all night. 2016 there was a small sniff about him coming to the national capital, but that was squashed after 2 days and 12 articles. Big Buff was making 7.6 a year with the Jets and i’m sure he’d be looking for roughly the same… unless he’s game to take a serious discount to go to a cup contender, not mentioning the Caps but I am, but idk if I see him doing that. BUT, that would also make your 3RD Carlson, Buff, Jensen.. just sayin’.

Now, let’s move on to Pietrangelo, a guy that AB is all over and here’s my thing on this – absolutely no fuckin’ chance in hell we get him – nor do I really want him as weird as that sounds. He’ll eat up all our cap room making 8 mil or so a year and would cause us to have to move multiple pieces. Plus, the rumors are all swirling around him going to Toronto which is hilarious that every offseason the Leafs think they can get who ever they want… then don’t. Then try to fix their shitty team… and don’t. And then lose in the first round and IT IS HILARIOUS.

Now, Alec Martinez… a guy that like 6 years ago or whenever he was with the Kings randomly won me like $700 in DraftKings one night cause he scored two goals in a late game including an OTGWG and I sky rocketed up the pool I was in that night and made bank. With that being said, I will open him with open arms solely because of that. He’s signed with Vegas through next season, so it’d have to be a trade, and here’s the thing. If we were to make ANY type of trade with Vegas, it’d be for one guy and one guy only and it’s this beautiful bastard below. (even tho it would never happen :/ ) Plus, Martinez is sitting at a 4 mil cap hit, but hey, maybe next offseason when he’s a UFA.

Last thing on this take – Brenden Dillon. It’s already been said the Caps are in the works of keeping Dillon, which is fantastic news because he’s a DAWG. The type of defensive defense we need on our blue line, and don’t come at me about his penalties, we knew when he came to DC he was one of the highest in the league taking penalties. If you don’t follow Tarik El-Bashir for the Athletic, you’re dumb and you need to. Here’s an excerpt from one of his latest articles. “As I’ve reported previously, the Caps feel Dillon is a good fit and they’re working to re-sign him. Earlier this week, Sportsnet’s Elliotte Friedman reported that Washington is trying to “move money” to get the deal done. Which, to me, hints at just how tight they’re going to be up against the $81.5 million salary cap.”

Take 3 – Dylan DeMelo

Here’s one on the more realistic side from Stat Guy Blake, and I would honestly love this. Here’s a righty with a very very low cap hit. I won’t go too much into this, cause i’ll let you read up on an article that new guy Ben wrote on him for the hockeywriters.com back in September. See, we hired him cause he’s a good writer to, not just because he’s cool AF and does drink beers.

Take 4 – Dubnyk or Raanta… or what about the King?

I threw in the King part at the end because it goes with this take, and the buzz around Hank is hot in the streets, but let’s first get to the take at hand first, shoutout to Chris Young for the tweet! We sent this out about a week ago, and obviously things happen and players get traded, like in Dubnyk’s case here, who was just sent to San Jose for a 2022 5th round draft pick. Raanta is an interesting one as well, as you gotta think Kuemper has all but sealed the deal for the #1 spot out in the desert. Raanta went 15-14-3 this year with a 2.63 GAA and .912 sv%…but to me, that ain’t worth the 4.25 mil he’s making. Now, let’s get to the real fun. YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I WOULDN’T MIND SPENDING *close, but not over* 4 MILLION ON? THE KING. I would love this, if it were reasonable that is. Think of it – Coach Lavs, The King, and Ovi making a run at a cup. God damn that turns me on.

Some crazy takes, some realistic ones, but it’s always a great time to wonder what if. Thanks for hangin’ with us in this edition of a Chirpin’ social blog, and be on the look out for a ton more to come with various questions and topics. The more you interact, the more content we can bring ya.

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