Alright we gave you the top 5 power rankings before Thanksgiving, but to be fair, there wasn’t any JUICE to it. Everyone mostly picked the same thing, kinda boring when the top 5 to be honest. Most people that read it just go yea, I can see why that ones a favorite, wouldn’t be in my top 5 but I like it! The bottom 5 however, this is where we get some action baby. This is where you can tell AB he’s a fuckin’ idiot, or maybe coach was high as hell when he picked a certain terrible jersey, who’s to say! So sit back , relax, and prepare to get pissed off at us and our picks!

AB

27) Toronto Maple Leafs – Too plain here. And again, as I said with the Jets jerseys, not a fan of the shoulder stripe going all the way down the sleeve. Just not enough effort to stand out here. No flash with these.

28) Vancouver Canucks – The Canucks completely blew their opportunity with these uggos. Coulda gone with the black, yellow, and red combo. Those 90’s jerseys are some of the best jerseys ever made and they completely ignored them. Instead, they went with this ugly ass navy blue faded into dark green? Horrible execution here.

29) Winnipeg Jets – Not a fan of this color scheme. Normally, I’m a big fan of gray sweaters. But mixed with Navy blue, there’s no pop to these at all. If it was a baby blue/Carolina blue, I might be saying something different. Not a fan of the shoulder stripe going all the way down to the gloves either. I’m more of an elbow stripe guy.

30) Detroit Red Wings – Practice Jersey. Enough said.

31) New York Islanders – Literally didn’t change a thing except the tint of blue. Poor effort on these.

DJ

27) Vegas Golden Knights – The Golden Knights “retro” jersey itself isn’t bad, I feel as if its a bit too loud in terms of its’ color-scheme. With that being said, I’ve ranked it so low because how the fuck can it be considered retro considering the team started 3 years ago? I don’t know, you can hate me for this opinion. 

28) Tampa Bay Lightning – Okay, listen, I have mad respect for how hard-fought this team is. Kudos to the 2020 Stanley Cup Champions. I also respect bringing back one of their first designs ever for a jersey, but it high key looks like it was done on Microsoft Word.

29) New York Islanders – This literally is their present jerseys, but with a bit of a difference in color placement. They should’ve brought back their ’95 fisherman logo. That shit was cool! I don’t know what they were thinking.

30) Pittsburgh Penguins – I understand that the Penguin’s logo hasn’t changed much since the 80’s, but the late 60’s WordArt text of Pittsburgh across the shirt does NOT do it for me. The ’70 introduction of the penguin with “Pittsburgh Penguins” wrapped around it would’ve been 10x better. I have no clue how a crowd is gonna get hyped up just seeing the word “Pittsburgh”. 

31) Detroit Red Wings – Did they even try? End tweet.

COACH

27) Ottawa Senators – Lame, boring, blehhhhh. Look at their new home and away jerseys for this upcoming season – this is literally just the same design in red.

28) Dallas Stars – Just SO DUMB to me. If the bottom of these jerseys were green like their actual retro ones, this would have been top 5 for me, but ya lost me with the all white. Massive fuck up.

29) Anaheim Ducks – That’s right I said it. While all of you are jerkin it the new ones in a corner i’m here to say they are TRASH. Child’s play… I hate the cartoon looking duck flying off the bottom. Give me this logo and it’s the #1 rated uni for me in a heartbeat.

30) Vancouver Canucks – This red V is all they needed to do to have a fire jersey.. except they went with the stupid blended look, which didn’t even look good when they did it the first time many moons ago.

31) Detroit Red Wings – Your jerseys suck worse than your team, and that’s saying A LOT

BEN

My turn to step in and tell you what looks good and what doesn’t. As a man who is a fun combination of the two, I think I have some kind of credibility when it comes to determining this stuff. So, let’s start with the 5 worst Reverse Retro jerseys.

Honourable Mention, Arizona Coyotes
I know people may be upset that this is near the bottom of my list, but I will explain why I am upset with these people. It has, for some reason, become the norm that an old, ugly jersey is now an awesome jersey. For what reason this has become a thing, I do not know, but I don’t subscribe to the theory. This jersey has little cacti on it that look like they were drawn by third-grader and it doesn’t look sick. The purple is nice, but this jersey just is not a very nice jersey.

27) Vancouver Canucks – I am firmly of the opinion that a gradient should never be on a jersey…but I have to be honest, I don’t even hate these. I don’t love a lot of the jerseys, but I don’t hate a lot either. I think Vancouver improved upon their old gradient jerseys by a lot with these because these colours make this jersey look a lot better than they should. Is this Vancouver’s best jersey? Not by a long shot, they have nice jerseys. However, I do think Van City could have done better than they did with these ones. Braden Holtby deserves better.

28) Winnipeg Jets – In my opinions, this is just an insane jersey. Insane because I can’t believe this is the route they took. Why would Winnipeg go with a grey jersey? They have their awesome heritage jerseys they’ve worn before in both home and away colours that they could have reversed, but instead they went with their original jerseys in modern colours. Okay, I guess I understand it in theory. But why grey as the main colour? Use light blue, or red, or anything else but grey. This is a missed opportunity in my opinion.

29) Anaheim Ducks – I feel like people will be upset with me for this one as well, but it falls under the same category as the Coyotes one. This thing was hideous when they originally used it, it did not get better looking. It doesn’t even have a logo, it has a cartoon drawing of a duck with the logo on the cartoon duck. Do you realize how embarrassing that is for players? Can you imagine Ryan Getzlaf, seasoned NHL veteran and Stanley Cup champion, wearing this? I can’t. If I were him, I would request a trade the second I saw these things. Also the team isn’t good, so that’s another reason. Not to mention the font is just atrocious. Looks like a kindergarten hockey team’s jersey.

30) Detroit Red Wings – This is what it looks like when you don’t care about your job. That must be it. Whoever made this did not care about his profession. You know the old saying, “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life?” Whoever made this must work every God-damn day because he does not love what he does. He can’t if he’s just throwing silver stripes on Detroit’s away jersey because, in the year they’re throwing back to, they won the Stanley Cup. Like jeez, why not just throw the Stanley Cup on the front and make it more obvious and stupid? Weak effort.

31) Dallas Stars – Is this a joke? Who made this? Why is it so white and silver? This is the worst jersey Dallas has ever had, and it isn’t even close. It’s just so empty feeling. I think it all stems from the logo which they decided needed to be silver for some reason. Just a miserable effort from a cool team with cool home and away jerseys. Makes me a tad sick to my stomach and to be honest I do not want to see it ever again and it’s really upsetting that it will be on my TV at some point in the future. Actually, that isn’t true. I will either turn the game off or throw the TV out the window whenever that happens.

KP

27) Pittsburgh Penguins – To many words man

28) Vegas Golden Knights – TRASH

29) New Jersey Devils – I swear I see the devils play is something similar every year 

30) New York Islanders – Total miss; how did they not bring back the fisherman?

31) Carolina Hurricanes – Doesn’t Fit. At least match the colors  

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