They boyssssss are back, the boysssssss are back, the boyssss are back and they’re… looking for a win without four of their top players. The Caps are back on F and 7th for the first time in nearly 10 months and unfortunately, we can’t go cheer on the boys. I would love nothing more if they sold like, 5,000 tickets, that seems good? I would have snagged one so quick, spent $300 on 7 beers, and been acting a literal fool cheering on the boys (and creating content). Nonetheless, we get to watch the Caps play on home ice, and it’s damn good to have the boys home. Let’s get into some pregame.

Pregame Storylines

Let’s get some feel good in us first before we get to, you know, the news… Sit back and enjoy the virtual red carpet event!

Now to the shitty news! We first heard word that the Capitals were the first team fined by the league and got smacked with a $100,000 fine for breaking COVID protocols. Uh oh, it would be us! Kinda crazy to hear when the news first broke, but I don’t think many people read much into it… and then…..

MOTHER FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! First thought? It would be the Russians lol because you know, Russia. But man as this story started to develop we found out that THEY HUNG OUT IN A HOTEL ROOM TOGETHER . And even worse? All four are out for AT LEAST four games. Absolute insanity if you ask me. Sammy was the only one to test positive, yet they all four have to sit due to “tracing” ? Did the Pens get looked at for tracing since you know, they were literally hitting and checking and all over each other in the game?

It literally makes no sense to me. They were outside the locker room area… as teammates… who spend most of their time together, and get regularly tested together, and should we mention SHOWER WITH after games? I could honestly go on a massive tirade about this and you can sit here and be like “well rules are rules coach!” and to that I say go fuck yourself. If you actually these rules make sense, go get your brain checked. I’m over it though, we all know who the real narc is.

First Period

Alright folks… NOT THAT BAD. What I love in a situation like this is the simplicity of a team and they style they play. Literally dumb it down and play a hard, simple, grind it out game. Also, it opens the ice up a bit not having the Sabres locked in on Ovi or Kuzy. Also, having Siegenthaler back in the lineup is overdue, and we’re seeing the impact he can have on a game in just 20 min with a few shot blocks and deflections. Buffalo would get on the board first thanks to a heavy forecheck which causes Big Z to fumble fuck the puck causing a turnover and easy tuck as the puck pops out and Staal has his first of the season. I mean, it’s a tough look on Chara here I can’t lie, and he’s really the only guy that can be blamed. Jenny is obviously twist turned around and Vanny is looking off his right side, puck pops back left, he turns, and by the time he finds it the puck is in the net and the Caps are down one rip.

But here’s the thing. We have Tom Wilson, the MVP of the Caps, the Heisman front runner, you name it, he’s done it in this young season so far, and guess who’s front and center on the Caps tying goal? You guessed it, the handsome son of a bitch himself Tommy Wilson. It all starts with a nice lil cycle, Vrana pops out with the puck and feeds it up the half wall to Dilly who settles and rips it on net where Tom Wilson gets a beautiful tip through the wickets and the puck just bounces straight out in the slot and Backstrom picks up the bouncing puck and one times a backhander in the net to tie it. A beautiful example of feeding the chickens and the boys are off to intermission tied at one.

Second Period

A two goal first period not enough for you? Good, well LOOK WHAT YOU DID! We got a four goal second on our hands here, each team netting two a piece. Caps would come out firing a bit in the second and the 4th line 3rd line grind would give the Caps their first lead of the game with an absolute missile from Dowd. Literally OVI like (ya know, since he’s not in the game due to rules and stuff) but Dowd gets a feed from Vrana out of the corner, drops to his need like a fuckin savage and hammers it home to put the home team up 2-1.

We’re not talking all goals here, though. Our boy VITEK had two massive breakaway stops in this one including one where Carlson blows a tire, then a second on a Skinner breakaway as Vanny is steady as she goes in the crease, waits it out, and get’s the pads down for a big stop. Buffalo would answer however with the rookie Dylan Cozens just rips one for his first career goal over the right shoulder of Vanny. And to be fair, that butterfly was way too tight and you were way too deep in it there Vitek, but nonetheless what a great first goal for the kid coming straight out of the world juniors. Back and forth we go and about two and a half min later its the snake picking up a rebound from a Chara bomb (first point as a Cap, congrats big man) and gives the Caps the lead again at 3-2. The game plan is working to perfection. What game plan do you speak of coach? Oh IDK, the one where you FEED THE CHICKENS. You scatter pucks on net, create rebounds, and let the forwards feed baby.

It’s all fun and games now with the lead… until you let Buffalo tie it 42 seconds later. It’s nothing crazy, no insane breakdowns by the Caps, it’s simply Riley Sheahan walking it to the front of the net and slipping a garbage puck right past the far side and tucking it in to the left of Vannys pad. Keys to the third? Pucks in, pucks out, and grind out a win. Get the first then hopefully bundle home and auto with a little insurance and a two goal lead. I’ve got a bad feeling the Hall and Eichel line is due for one.

Third Period

Scoreless period, and here’s the only important news…


OT went scoreless despite a Caps 4 on 3 power play so we find ourselves going to a shootout, Viteks first career NHL shootout against Jack Eichel and Taylor Hall mind you. Surprisingly enough? Vitek stops every. single. shot. Granted, the Caps didn’t fair well either, missing with Oshie, Backstrom, and Vrana until Carlson finally sneaks one five hole.

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